Gigi
Approved
5 Cleric of Graves
Posts: 109 
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Post by Gigi on May 26, 2019 21:15:43 GMT
It had been several days, if not a tenday or two, since Gigi had come across the vrock in the alley, took up arms against it with a kinder heart then her own, dipped her veins in Poppy after being semi-dry for a few months, and then passed out in a medical healer's power induced coma after telling someone they had rather permanent brain damage that affected the core of who they were. And a lot had happened in between. Most notably? The house Gigi and her as good as blood siblings, mentor and her brother, Ninette and Arlo, had been destroyed. The news report said it was a stray fireball - it happened in the shadier side of down. But she knew better. Her patients though, unfortunately, didn't get the memo. Several times in the last tenday or two Gigi had some of the baby birds, the kids -real kids- come running through the streets to whatever temporary shelter she and her 'siblings' had found to let her know she had another patient looking at the burnt out remains of the shell that used to be her home and workstation. With just her knapsack and belongings she'd managed to dig out of the rubble -crystals, mainly, and some of her scrap she used for tinkering on her arm- Gigi was regretfully having to send her patients to other healers in the Birds or the gangs the Birds were in good relation with. It killed her to send them away. But she just couldn't do what she normally could. Not right now at least. Not until she got set up somewhere more long term. She had a station in the Underground, the place beneath the crypts of the City of the Dead where the Birds in general lived and thrived. But that was for in-Bird care only. So instead she was stuck in this horrid in-between where she could work one-off jobs, but nothing long-term. Because of this? She was glad she'd yet to hear back from Kara, the once-thought of halfling she'd met in the heat of combat. The bruising there? There was no one she'd trust to take over for her, except perhaps Nine... But Nine bothered people more than she herself bothered people. So Gigi had a string of eyes and ears out around the city, calling in favors other Birds owed her to keep an eye out for the glaive wielding near halfling who Gigi apologetically had placed 'dibs' on. Repairing damage in the mind was.... Tricky. It was almost like the Point of No Return, the strange spiritual world she worked in most of the time. Alive but dead - almost. It was a special metamagical meets metaphysical world of internal symbolism and personal reflection. A mindscape. Finally the day came when a small kid with two toned eyes, Minerva, came running up out of breath, to the current slumming it location of Gigi's. "Aun' Gigi!" The small timid voice of one of their newest Fledglings, a scrawny thumb-sucking wisp of a half elf girl, ran up to her and barreled into her legs. "Hey, shhsss, it's alright Min. Tell me what's up, yeah?" She whispered to the girl, bending down to run her hand over her hair. Min was one of the... 'strangest' of the new adoptees. Loud voices made her shudder. And to everyone's surprise? She'd imprinted, hard, on the pink haired healer. "The one you wanted to keep an eye on is at your old house." Squeezing her into a hug, mindful of how small she was, Gigi smiled at the two-toned eye wisp. "Thanks Min." She'd taken the 'imprinting' in stride. "Did you tell her I would be on my way?" Min shook her head to the side, thumb back in her mouth. "Did you talk to her at all?" She asked, a tired resigned tone in her voice. Another shake of the head, no. Of course she hadn't, Min rarely talked to anyone. "Did she see you at least?" The girl nodded, thumb in her mouth rising up and down, before asking around her digit. "A're we stull go'ng to z'he zoon later?" She asked, Gigi's eyes going wide the slightest amount. "Oh! Of course! Yeah kid. I'll come find you when I'm done with Kara, a'right? We'll go see the bears. I promise." Minerva just nodded, no emotion on her face, but her ears wriggled just enough to show she was happy with the promise. Their zoo trip had been delayed due to her several week trip following a gnome Professor's whimsy and then again when her house blew up. Gigi swore they wouldn't need to reschedule a third time. Grabbing her bag and glaring at the others around the trash can who'd seen the whole cutesy scene between her and Min, paired with a rude gesture and a rumble of the ground that knocked over their barrel, Gigi began to hike it across town.
The explosion that had happened here no more than a tenday ago had sent whispers and rumors all across the slums that were around the City of the Dead. The rubble and fire both had settled, leaving a charred black husk frame where the thin and narrow three story building Gigi had once lived. "Sup Kara." She said, approaching the human, not halfling she reminded herself with a furious mental whisper. "A little bird told me you were around here." She was looking as she always did, faded cargo pants, crop top shirt - her jacket must be in her knapsack considering it was nowhere to be seen. "Nice day out, is'int?" White clouds in the sky, bright and warm sun, gentle breeze - a proper spring day. "Take it you've given more thought to what we talked about last time?" It's here she would have invited her up into her room's workshop, but obviously that was a bit hard to do at the moment. Gigi spared a glance to stare at the destruction and frowned. Damn fucking dwarf. |
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Post by moralhazard on May 26, 2019 22:05:07 GMT
A bruise on her brain.
Kara had largely dismissed Gigi’s words at first. Whatever the healer had done to her had left her feeling strong and fresh and new. She had more energy, Kara noticed; she wasn’t exactly stronger, but there were no aches to contend with, no old pains made new by training or injury. The scars were still there, but they didn’t pull at her as they had. Kara – enjoyed it.
A bruise on her brain.
She couldn’t quite get the idea out of her mind. Gigi had told her it might affect her in different ways, movement, smell and personality. The movement Kara dismissed; she moved fine. She had no troubles with her balance, nothing of the sort. She wasn’t as quick as some others, especially for her size, but she was quick enough when she needed to be, and she made up for it with her strength. It was true that bad smells didn’t seem to bother her, but Kara half counted that as a blessing, especially staying in Dock Ward. Now that she’d moved to stay with Dhaunmyr in the Castle Ward, perhaps it wasn’t as helpful, but it had certainly served her well.
Her personality.
Kara didn’t know what that meant. How could she have a bruise in her personality? She was fine. She hadn’t been fine in Sundabar, no, but the waking dreams were gone, and she rarely had nightmares even in her sleep now. It was only distance she’d needed. There was nothing wrong with her. She was strong; she could fight orcs and vulture things, could pit herself against a gladiator and come out ahead. She didn’t – she wouldn’t – let fear rule her. She never had.
But it was – harder. Twice, now, since coming to Waterdeep she had wept. Kara didn’t think she had wept since before the war. Twice, now, since coming to Waterdeep, she had been so afraid that she had nearly back down – once against Gulken, and once against Igostrom. Was that… from the bruise? Kara tried to look at herself, to think about herself, and she didn’t know –
Once, when she had smiled, Dhaunmyr had looked so shocked that it had… had hurt, somewhere deep inside that Kara didn’t know was vulnerable.
Was she herself, or was something wrong with her? Kara didn’t know how to tell; just thinking about it seemed to leave her with a headache, as if she could feel the bruise that Gigi had told her was there beneath the skin.
Kara hadn’t thought that she would go back; she had felt good after the healing, and she hadn’t really known what to make of Gigi anyway. But, one day, she found herself thinking about it again, and she realized she was afraid. She was afraid of what she might learn, of what might be wrong with her, and that was no way to live. Helm commanded her to be prepared, and holding back from healing wasn’t being prepared.
The only problem was that, when Kara reached the place where Gigi had been before, that it was a destroyed husk. Kara frowned, scowling at the building, and rubbed her head with her hand. She hadn’t worn her half-plate today, dressed instead in a slightly worn blue tunic over a black undershirt and leggings, with cloth wrappings covering her arms from shoulder to wrist. Kara glanced around; a small child stared at her, wide-eyed, then turned and fled.
Kara exhaled, slowly, looking back at the devastation. Was it possible Gigi was dead? Kara supposed so, although she hoped not. Still, it seemed – wrong, somehow, to leave without waiting a bit. She had no real idea how to find the healer, but there also wasn’t anywhere she needed to be, not immediately, and so Kara thought she had better wait. So – she did. She stood, butt of her glaive resting on the ground, and focused her gaze loosely on the ground, breathing slowly and evenly in and out to calm her nerves.
It wasn’t so long before she heard a familiar voice behind her. Kara turned, looking up at the pink-haired, metal-armed healer, and nodding a greeting. Kara glanced up at the sky when Gigi asked if it was nice, and shrugged; she didn’t have much interest in talking about the weather. Neither did Gigi, not really; she didn’t even leave Kara more than a moment to respond before she pressed forward.
“Yes,” Kara said, quietly. Her hand tightened on the glaive. “If you – fix it,” Kara looked down at the ground, then back up at the healer, unflinching despite the obvious tension in her body, “what will change?” Kara hesitated, jaw clenching tight for a moment. Her hand tightened further and didn’t relax. “Will it –” Kara gritted her teeth again, trying to force the words out. “Sometimes I’m – ” Her throat worked, and, slowly, Kara pressed ahead. “Afraid.” She exhaled, slowly. “When I shouldn’t be.” She couldn’t quite bring herself to finish the question, but she looked at Gigi, evenly, expecting her to have the answers.
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Gigi
Approved
5 Cleric of Graves
Posts: 109
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Post by Gigi on May 26, 2019 22:25:50 GMT
S mall talk was something Gigi was absolute shit at. Thankfully Kara herself wasn't the most chatty either - a match made in Waterdeep really if you thought about it long enough. Pleasantries aside, enough they could at least tick off that box of social exchange, the two blunt women stood there, side by side.Gigi could tell Kara was tense, saw it in the way she held herself and the way the muscle definition was outlined under her skin. It'd taken a lot for the warrior to come back. There was respect in that. The best warriors could fight to their death - the legendary warriors knew when to repair themselves so as to keep going. It pained the healer to watch teeth gnash and hands clench, an eye twitch of her own at how uncomfortable she clearly was. But that's why they were here."No idea exactly, really." It was not the answer she was sure Kara wanted. "Nothing might happen, and you'll be exactly how you are now. Your personality could do a 180 spin, and become someone completely different." It was blunt an bitter, no sugarcoating here. "But." She continued, before she lost Kara to the warrior's own admitted fear at the situation. "I don't think either of those things will happen. They could, either outlier is possible. And I want you to be aware of them before you choose to proceed." The healer shifted her weight, crossing her arms, wishing she hadn't lost her cigarette supplies to the fireball. "Most likely you're return, mentally, to a place you were at, mentally, before you took on the affliction." Out in public she wouldn't use specific terms. "Regress, but be improved at the same time. You might find yourself seeing events that have happened to you more emotionally. You might start feeling a wider breathe of sensations and emotions. You might find yourself more... Comfortable. Like this is who you were supposed to be, but there was a block that you'd not even realized was there."Her tongue clicked against her tooth, snapping against her lip, as she outlined the unknown into manageable chunks. "It'll be hard. It will take several sessions. You'll probably hate me before it's all over. But I promise you, Kara, I will do everything in my power to remove that bruising and help you fight the demons that might be living in your head because of it." |
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Post by moralhazard on May 26, 2019 22:36:21 GMT
Return to a place she was at before? Kara didn’t look down now; she stared at Gigi, very intently, as if by looking maybe Kara could know if she was telling the truth. As if Kara could know if she was right. Return to a place she was at before. Kara was even more tense than before; even beneath the wraps, Gigi could see the hard bulge of muscle along her arms. A vein jumped along her jaw, pulsing.
How had she been before? Who had she been there? Kara knew she couldn’t go back; whatever Gigi said, it wasn’t possible, not really. But… the Kara she had been had been happy, sometimes. She had thought, since the war, that that time in her life was ended. But she had been happy, here in Waterdeep. There were little moments Kara could think of – kneeling and putting Fluffers in the caverns deep below the city, sitting and eating the food that Dhaunmyr had made for her – and it made her wonder about what might be possible.
But… a wider range of sensations and emotions sounded – bad, Kara thought. She wasn’t sure about that. What if that meant the fear got worse, instead of better? What if she did change, into a person she didn’t even recognize? How could she trust that instead of healing her, Gigi wouldn’t – wouldn’t make it worse, somehow?
Kara was still staring. Then – slowly, she nodded.
No more fear.
“I’ll do it.” Kara said, quietly, firmly, as if all that iron in her muscles was in her voice too. She paused. “I – that – I mean – would you… heal me?” Kara’s voice wasn’t so sure now, a sudden awkwardness filling her face. “Please?”
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Gigi
Approved
5 Cleric of Graves
Posts: 109
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Post by Gigi on May 26, 2019 23:20:05 GMT
N odding at the choice Gigi shrugged her knapsack back over her shoulder from where it had been set on the ground, and gestured with a head bob to have Kara follow. "Wouldn't be here if I wasn't willin' to, no need to ask... or thank me." She hated being thanked, made her feel uncomfortable. It was her job, nothing more. At least, that's what she told herself. It was what she was good at - it'd be its own style of disservice if she let her skills fall to the wayside... It was the only thing she had going for her after all."Now, we would be doing this at home, but as you have seen - that's a bit impossible to do right now." The healer began leading them, very similarly to how she'd led them from Dock Ward to here when they'd first met - as in without turning to make sure she was following beyond the double checks she had out of the corner of her eyes to ensure Kara was keeping pace. It wasn't a fast walk, impossible to fall behind, and they generally were able to keep side by side except for when Gigi made a quick turn."And the best place other than my old place isn't friendly to outsiders." It was the nicest way she could say Kara wouldn't be welcome without being too much an asshole about it. "So, I'm working with what I got." They were easily into the center of the Trade's Ward now, shops greatly outnumbering any other sort of storefront. It was inside an unmarked storefront Gigi lead them into, a shop that was quite different then Kara was probably expecting.It was a gnome's shop - covered wall to ceiling with gears, scrap metal, tools, strange colored materials in jars and bags overflowing with resources. Everything was built to a gnome's height, so short for Gigi, probably comfortable all things considered for Kara, and it looked the part. The light was dim, orange and pink mage lights bobbing around instead of lanterns. Gigi gave nothing a second glance, but did slow her pace if it seemed Kara wanted to take a look around at the organized chaos. "A friend is letting me crash until I and my roommates figure out where to call home again." She commented. "I'm going to start getting set up - follow back this way and turn left when you're done looking around. Shouldn't be too long."Lighting candles, burning incense, and arranging gems and crystals in a pattern she recognized Gigi prepared the small backroom she was working in to her liking for what was about to happen next. A mindmeld - she hadn't done one of these in a while. And she was nervous. A lot could go wrong just as well as things could go very much right.When Kara came in Gigi would either be finishing the last touches of lighting candles or be already sitting cross legged on the floor - a floor covered in numerous rugs and had several pillows scattered about. She was breathing slowly, green energy pulsing through her tattoos with each inhale and exhale."Sit down and get comfy as you'd like to for now." Gigi said, eyes opening but still keeping a calm relaxed posture about her, and hopefully the same for her aura. "I want to go over everything that's gonna happen before we jump in. It'll be different from when I patched you up after the vrock fight."Once she was comfy, Gigi continued. "Inside each of us are seven points of contact, called chakras. I won't go into too much detail here, but it's enough to know they relate to seven aspects of the physical and mental body. What we're doing? It's touching on the highest point, the seventh one, sahasrara, also known as the crown chakra in the common tongue. It's the body's.... Point of access between the physical and mental. In terms of life and death? It's the Point of No Return. In terms of what we're doing? It's the place where our subconscious goes when we sleep, recover, rest. A landscape very personal to each individual, where all the memory and life experiences are stored - usually in a way that is a location or environment comfortable and comforting to the individual. It's also the point where our minds can connect, so we can share what is within us, spiritually, but also physically - well, metaphysically. It's the top one, near my neck." Gigi twisted and pulled her hair back from where it stretched down her back, showing the topmost symbol tattooed on her body as she described it. "The brain is.... Complicated." She stated as she resettled. "It is not only bruised and harmed, but has had years to learn thrive within the environment its been put in. There are... Defenses the mind builds up to compensate for the damage done so it doesn't get worse. And to get better, we need to break down those defenses. Does that make sense?" |
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Post by moralhazard on May 27, 2019 0:14:34 GMT
Kara exhaled in relief, and nodded firmly. No asking and no thanks; that was fine with her. It was much how she felt about what she did as well. She followed Gigi through the city as easily as she had last time – perhaps even more easily, seeing as she was considerably less injured and not carrying a dead body. Just as before, she paid careful attention to where they were going, both so as to be able to find her way home, and to be able to find her way here once more, if needed. The Trade Ward she knew perhaps least well of any ward in the city, other than a handful of places to buy weapons or have her armor and glaive repaired.
Usually, a decision like this one was followed by a sense of relief, a release that told Kara she had done the right thing. She didn’t feel it this time; she still felt – scared. The feeling didn’t fade either; it seemed to harden into a knot inside Kara’s chest, sitting there. That was all right, she told herself. It wasn’t about being unafraid. It was about not letting the fear stop you.
Kara paused inside the doorway of the unmarked storefront, looking around curiously. She’d never seen anything like it before. Gigi seemed to be giving her permission to look around, and so – Kara did, walking a slow, curious circle around the shop. A few moments later, she decided that she was only dawdling, and she made her way down the hall Gigi had indicated, and turned left.
The healer was sitting on the ground already, cross-legged, green energy pulsing through her tattoos. Kara rested her glaive on the wall, and knelt on the floor, kneeling and sitting back on her feet. There was nothing comfortable looking about how she was sitting; Kara’s body was as rigid as ever, the lines of her posture sharp and hard. All the same, she looked at Gigi and nodded her readiness.
Most of what Gigi said didn’t really make any sense to Kara. She touched the back of her neck with two fingers, the same spot where Gigi’s tattoo was, and just listened. Gigi asked if it made sense, and Kara paused, thinking it over. Her brain was bruised, so her mind had defenses – defenses that needed to be broken down. Kara scowled. She wasn't sure she understood any of it; she had never before really thought about how the mind could be separate from the body. Was it an injury of the body or not? How could her mind have defenses? She was no magic user.
“No,” Kara admitted, looking back at the healer. She shifted, slightly, then settled back into place. “… but it’s all right. I believe you.”
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Gigi
Approved
5 Cleric of Graves
Posts: 109
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Post by Gigi on May 28, 2019 23:35:26 GMT
F rowing lightly Gigi hummed a sigh through slightly pursed lips. She ultimately disliked it when her patients didn't understand what was going to happen. It made agreeing to the procedure or task ahead just feel.... Wrong. Clucking her tongue against the back of her upper tooth she considered how else she could explain. She didn't want to explain it in such a way that made it seem like she was explaining to a child - but there were just times where people were not, fluent or knowledgeable enough in even the base material that it was difficult otherwise. "Right. Uhh, let's think of it this way." She reversed her ankles so they sat in a lotus position better. "When you focus on something, like, really focus. And the rest of the world fades away? It's gonna be like that, but more real. Do you meditate?" She asked, curious. At her answer? Gigi's face fell only slightly but she recovered gracefully enough. "Right, even better that I'm here to help. We'll be focusing on my meditative connection to the healing energy I have access to in order to find and enter your mindscape. When you focus on a task? It's the place you think of, subconsciously. I'll be pulling on the divine to make it conscious. It's part of the astral plane, if that rings any bells for you?" She disliked calling it the astral plane, as it... Was but wasn't, though it was still a part of it. Complicated. At Kara's blank look Gigi sighed and smiled. "It'll - make a lot more sense when we're there."Gigi was black cat levels of curious as to what sort of scenery or location Kara's mindscape would manifest itself. She'd not seen too many, not many patients needed this level of a dive or connection. "I'll say it again, just to remind you. I won't breathe or share a word of what I find or experience with you during any of our sessions, mindscape included. There's no need to be embarrassed or shamed or anything like that, or think of what I might think of you based on your mind manifestation. You won't see mine, as we're focusing on you today, but I'll tell you. Mine's very simple. Black air, black all around, black water - and I can only tell it's water I'm sitting on because it ripples and feels like water should without being wet. Small little fireflies of green and purple energy float around, even some blue though it's pretty rare. The chakra symbols surround me on the surface of the water... And that's about it. Simple, like I said."It was easier said than done, not being embarrassed about a mindscape. The few Gigi had seen? They were brilliant representations of the people it belonged to. Memories and experiences symbolically and artfully arranged to something wonderful. And she just had - darkness. Nothing, really. But for the impressions of her magical ability, the colored fireflies. It's all she had. Her ability to heal. No wonder she gave little regard to the world, or herself, at large and defended her healing abilities as she did. It was truly all she was. "Once we're in your mindscape for the first time you might feel slightly disconnected. Take a moment to find yourself and center your thoughts. Usually you'll appear in a position or pose that is comfortable or familiar to you, and in the center of your environment. If you're stressed and erratic? You might end up binding yourself. Just remember, it's your mind. You control it." For the most part at least. But the bruising and mental injury contained wasn't Kara. And that's what they were searching for. "The injuries in your head are separate from you though. Doing harm to them won't harm you, but agitating nonetheless has the chance of making the affects worse if we don't do this well. As I said, it's gonna be a process." She paused before adding, "You can't die inside your head, but you might go mad. But even if the worst happens, you can't die there." To her knowledge at least. She'd never heard of anyone dying inside a mindscape before. "Most who visit the astral plane are tethered by a silver string. Here? We're tethered by my healing energy. You'll be able to move once you acclimate yourself and get used to mindscape walking. It's your mind, but I'll be stuck in one place more or less. The more I get familiar with your head? The more I should be able to move around." At least that'd been her experience. "The bruising may be represented by a near unending list of possibilities... But your fears and nightmares are a good place to make a guess. I tell you this now so you can prepare yourself. Overall? If it becomes too dangerous, and the injuries are more potent than what I first sensed? I'll pull us out and we can try another avenue another day." She gave Kara a serious but concerned look . "But I'll be there too, to help you through it. We'll look like we do right now in the mindscape, and just how you're dressed. Things though? They don't come through. Armor, weapons, potions." She shook her head. "No go. Some higher magical items or extremely important keepsakes such as a pendant or whatnot will transfer with you, but only if you're wearing it." She shrugged her metal arm. "This comes with me, for example. But only if it's attached beforehand.""Any questions, ask me now. Otherwise? If you're set? I'll need you to set your head in my lap so I can place my hands on either side of your head. Do your best to match your breathing to mine, I'll be doing the same towards you. Close your eyes, think of it like falling asleep. I'll be doing the legwork of setting up the connection, maintaining it, and keeping you safe while in this meditative coma like state." A small pillow was pulled from a small collection of soft things, a worn but well loved blanket in bright teal, some throw pillows, etc, and set in her lap for neck support. |
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Post by moralhazard on May 29, 2019 0:22:58 GMT
Gigi stared at her. Kara stared back, not sure what else to say; she had the sense that the healer was disappointed by her answer, but she wouldn’t lie. When asked if she understood, how could she say yes when she didn’t? It was true, though; Kara had seen plenty of magic she didn’t understand. There were some of her own abilities she didn’t even understand, much less those of others. She didn’t need to know how she could enter a state that made the world seem to fall away as she fought, or why the bear’s claw around her neck had become more than just a token. And, similarly, she didn’t need to understand the workings of her own mind.
Or, at least, she never had before.
Gigi shifted, and began to explain again. Kara listened, intently, all her focus on the healer before her. When she really focused on something, and the rest of the world faded away. Kara was very familiar with that feeling; it was what it was like for her every time she fought. Not training fights, not always. Real fights, ones that she took seriously, either because her life was on the line or her pride was. Or, well, her opponent’s pride, sometimes.
Meditation? It was a word Kara knew, but not one she would have thought to apply to herself. Did it really only mean that the rest of the world faded away? Kara thought, hard. It wasn’t only fighting that she could achieve a state like that; there were times in training, especially with her glaive, when she didn’t need to think, only move, calm and peaceful, every bit of her focused on the dance. Often, her prayers to Helm achieved a similar stillness. But… meditation?
After a moment, Kara shrugged, a somewhat confused look on her face.
Gigi looked disappointed again, but she pressed on. Kara shook her head at the mention of the phrase astral plane. Weirdly, this time Gigi smiled; Kara didn’t understand her at all, but she still seemed willing to continue, which was good. Kara wondered if she should have brought – paper, maybe? To take notes? This was very confusing.
Kara frowned faintly at the reminder that Gigi wouldn’t share anything; it wasn’t that she had worried about it, only that it made her – uncomfortable, to think that that meant Gigi would be… seeing inside her. Had she seen the memory Kara had experienced during her last healing? Kara hoped not; it was a precious one, held close to her heart, and she didn’t like the thought of someone else… being there. But Gigi kept going, and it seemed… not like that. Kara didn’t understand – why were there fireflies, and what were chakra symbols? But she nodded, because it seemed to be expected of her.
Kara was quiet, hands opening and closing into fists on her lap. Her jaw clenched at the mention of madness, a small vein pulsing along the side of it, but she nodded, slowly, exhaling a long, slow breath. She nodded again when Gigi said she would stop them if it was too dangerous or – or she couldn’t be healed. Well enough. They would try it, and if Gigi said they could stop if it was too dangerous, she would believe the healer. No weapons? Without even realizing it, Kara glanced back over her shoulder at the glaive resting against the wall, then back at Gigi. She exhaled, reaching up to her neck and tugging at the leather thong there, pulling it free to reveal a bear claw. She raised an eyebrow at Gigi, sort of holding it out. Gigi nodded, and Kara nodded as well, tucking the claw away again.
Questions? Kara shook her head. She wouldn’t know how to begin to ask anyway. She stared at Gigi for a moment when she asked Kara to set her head in the healer’s lap, looking down at said lap, then back at Gigi. There was a visible stiffening of discomfort that washed through her, and her fingers dug tightly into her thighs for a moment. Kara swallowed, and forced herself through the feeling, slowly coming closer to Gigi. She hesitated another moment just in front of her, eyes searching the healer for a moment, then, very carefully, turned her back to the other woman, and, slowly, lay back with her head in Gigi’s lap, resting it on the pillow and looking up at the other woman.
Kara straightened her body out on the ground, slowly. She was tense at first, so tense that she didn’t really seem to be lying down; her body was stiff and straight, almost as if she was standing horizontally. Her eyes closed, and her hands rested on her stomach. For a long moment, she didn’t relax; slowly, fractionally, her body inched out of tension. The hard definition of her muscles lessened steadily, although even totally relaxed they still stood out against her tan skin. Her eyes shifted behind her eyelids, then settled.
Breathing, at least, Kara could do; even tense, her breathing was smooth and steady and easy, matching Gigi’s pace as best as she could. She focused her mind on stillness, as she did when approaching Helm; it seemed the closest to what Gigi had asked for her. Thoughts faded away; fears did too, or very nearly, leaving only a lingering trace, and – slowly – Kara slipped away into her mind.
Kara found herself kneeling, head bowed, eyes closed. She shifted, and felt a familiar heavy weight of metal on her wrists and ankles. Kara cried out, eyes snapping open; she thrased, and the bonds shifted, with a familiar heavy clanking of metal. She was chained – as she had been so many times all those years ago – with thin wrought iron circlets around her wrists and ankles, the same tight bindings that had left her with thin chafed scars. The circlets were attached to heavy iron links, both wrists and ankles looped to a metal half circle stuck in the ground behind her.
Kara shuddered, her head hanging forward, the long side of her hair spilling down over her shoulder to brush the dusty ground. She gritted her teeth, thrashing again, helpless and miserable as she’d been all those years ago. For a moment she felt – a horrible, paralyzing fear. Had it all just been a dream? Was she still in that – orcish prison, chained and helpless in Sundabar? At any moment, would an orc come along to torture her – to thrust her head in a trough of water until the lack of air was nearly too much and breathing in water seemed easier than holding her breath any longer? Would another be there to make her watch, again, the burning sacrifice of one of her companions to their one-eyed god?
Kara choked the scream that threatened to emerge, swallowing it, eyes squeezing shut again. No. No! She could feel the weight of the claw against her chest, the sharp point jutting into her skin, and her whole body shuddered. No. There had been no claw in Sundabar; this wasn’t that place. She wasn’t a prisoner anymore, and she never would be again.
Kara’s eyes snapped open; the muscles on her arms bulged, and she gritted her teeth, shaking with the tension of it. She pressed her wrists against the edges of the cuff, and, with an almost bear-like roar, she pushed. The metal snapped apart, flying off into the air and vanishing; with it, the rest of the chains disappeared as well, and Kara dropped forward, resting on her hands and knees on the ground. Her arms gave out, and Kara dropped to her elbows, forehead pressing into the dirt. She shuddered, holding there for a long moment, eyes closing once more.
Then, slowly, as she had done so many times before, Kara pushed herself to her feet. She was breathing hard, sweat staining her tunic already. She wiped her face on her sleeve, taking another deep breath, and looked around. She knew this place; the floor was packed earth, hard and solid enough to stand up to a thousand blows of swords and axes. Unfortunately, it had taken many more blows than that.
Kara stood in the center of what had once been training grounds, ringed by a high, thick stone wall, with a heavy, broken iron gate in the center of it. The stone wall formed a crescent, and Kara turned back to look away from it. Opposite the wall was a high stone building, with small outbuildings extending nearly to the wall and growing steadily upwards. Both sides met in a massive stone tower. A long balcony ran along the center front of it, with staircases leading from the grounds up, and doors here and there dotting the bottom.
Once, it must have been impressive; perhaps it still was. The walls and the central building were massive dwarf-hewn stone, although some of the smaller ringing outbuildings were wooden. Once, it had stood hard and tall and impenetrable.
Now? There was enough left to see what it had been, but the walls and building were chipped away, massive bits hewn from them. The wood was charred and burnt, leaving only a skeleton of what had once been there. The ground that must have been smoothed was pitted and marked, chunks dug out and heavy furrows blasted into it, and strewn with some of the shattered stone from the walls and tower, with pieces that ranged from small pebbles to fist-sized chunks to blocks bigger than Kara. Dust echoed across it, stirred up from the ravaged ground, shifting in the wake of the wind.
The whole thing gave the impression that a terrible fight had happened there – maybe more than one – and left untamed devastation in its wake. Kara shuddered, once, a small, scarred brown hand coming to rest on a nearby waist-high block of stone and gripping it tightly.
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