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Post by enchilada on May 20, 2019 9:07:39 GMT
“Oh come on. It’s kind of funny. I guess if you’re on team worry-about-Dhaunmyr then maybe, maybe, me getting sick wasn’t so funny, but... oh, well. Listen. I did play it up just a little bit when I realised such a lovely, handsome man had... you don’t know about him, do you? I keep thinking about him.” Dhaunmyr sighed, still smiling, though. “It’s because of this... stupid thing that happened and I just don’t know what to think about it. To be honest, I don’t know what degree of understanding you can offer on the topic. That’s not bad, or anything, of course. But...”
Dhaunmyr took a little more of the bun, and by little, it was almost a half decent amount. He had no idea if it was even worth telling her about the date. Maybe... Dredka would be better? He had no idea what she’d say, or do, and that was extremely exciting to him, to be honest. Dhaunmyr couldn’t imagine that Kara would do much more than shrug, tell him to do what he felt was right, and leave him to suffer.
If she really was curious, what would he say? That he’d been saved from a gang of angry men with big weapons and bad intentions? That he’d... killed someone? Multiple people. In a few seconds. They had died. The fact that he’d very almost fell to his death? Or that, possibly because of, maybe in spite of, the crazy situation he’d been in... Dhaunmyr wanted to see see him again.
What did she need to know? The fact that he’d actually killed people still freaked him out, he hated it, but he’d just about managed to shuffle the thoughts around enough to process that part, and he couldn’t help but focus on the way that he’d looked at Dhaunmyr and...
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Post by moralhazard on May 20, 2019 15:00:33 GMT
Kara scowled harder at Dhaunmyr. She was, she thought grumpily, on team worry-about-Dhaunmyr, which was a weird way to put it but she was pretty sure she understood what he meant. Then they were talking about men - and - something had happened? Something stupid?
Kara ate another bite of chicken and rice. Dhaunmyr was looking at her very expectantly. He had said he didn’t think she would understand? But also he was staring at her - was there something he wanted her to do? To say?
Kara finished chewing and swallowing and set her fork down. She frowned a little, then, slowly, asked, “What happened?” Maybe she wouldn’t understand; she was glad Dhaunmyr knew she might not. His life was a bit strange to her, at times. But she would try.
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Post by enchilada on May 20, 2019 21:37:17 GMT
Dhaunmyr was suddenly nervous. His hand was shaking, but he forced it onto the table with a grin, which, itself, was as nervous as they come. Kara had asked now, or, rather, Dhaunmyr had trapped her in asking. He needed to get it off of his chest, really, so this was a good opportunity. He needed to stop worrying.
Kara wouldn’t judge him for it, right? She’d probably done the same thing — no, she had done the same thing. That orc massacre? And it wasn’t even self defence. She’d at least understand the second part, but it needed just a touch of context. “You know me, I go drinking in places below my wealth and... well. There was someone there who seemed to be doing the same. He was really nice, that wasn’t the stupid part. But on the way back...” Dhaunmyr swallowed hard. This shouldn’t have gotten hard to talk about already.
“These men — they were huge. There were... so many of them. They had weapons and they were angry and — because of... me. And him! Actually, he was... a ‘snake’, or something? I don’t know. Never heard of such a thing, maybe it was a curs- not important.” He had been staring at his hands, now he stared at Kara. Did she care? Of course. Stop thinking that way.
“We got backed into a corner. And I. I killed someone. I killed multiple people. I just did it, I couldn’t be scared of getting hit or anything. I just had to... do it. We got away, I’m not entirely convinced I actually remember correctly how. And... then. He acted like everything was fine! And I did too. But I killed people. And so quickly! They didn’t even have a chance when I got my hands on that blade. They’re dead. And the second worst part is, he just left me. He got me home and he left. It’s only just hit me, you know? But it’s not like I didn’t know it was bad, like when... like before. This time, someone is just dead.”
Dhaunmyr didn’t cry. He just stared. He needed an answer from Kara. Maybe she did understand. It wasn’t really a man problem, it was just a fucking murdering people in cold blood problem.
Dead.
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Post by moralhazard on May 21, 2019 13:40:29 GMT
Kara set her fork down again; this seemed to be very important, and she wouldn’t try to split her attention between listened and Dhaunmyr. She set her hands in her lap, sat up a little straighter, and looked at him attentively.
Dhaunmyr had met someone, they had been walking together, and they had been - attacked? Kara’s hands tightened slightly on her legs, then relaxed. She took a deep breath. Dhaunmyr was upset not because he was hurt, but because he had killed people.
That was all right, then. He had done the right thing, he was alive to figure it out.
Kara nodded. “If you hadn’t?” She asked, looking at Dhaunmyr. She hesitated, not sure if she was coming across right. “Then - what would have happened? To you and him.”
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Post by enchilada on May 21, 2019 16:48:11 GMT
What would have happened? That was a crazy question. How was he supposed to have any idea what would have happened? He could only guess, and the guesses were horrible. What would he have done without the help? Just, rolled over? Let them do whatever? It was most likely. Dhaunmyr could take one, two people. Maybe three. But there were so many of them. Enough to...
“I don’t know what would have happened. Maybe we should have run back to the tavern or something, they couldn’t just hurt us when there were people around, right? Or...” His shoulders sagged. Dhaunmyr couldn’t bring himself to say it, but — the people could well have been inspired to join in. Because of —
He dragged up one leg, resting his heel on the edge of the chair. Dhaunmyr hugged his knee, cheek resting on it.
“Did I do anything wrong, Kara? Maybe I could have tried to knock them out. We should have run away instead. But now...” Dhaunmyr sort of shook his head, but it wasn’t terribly clear. “This is too depressing. I’m sorry.”
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Post by moralhazard on May 21, 2019 17:32:35 GMT
Kara focused on Dhaunmyr, her gaze steady and even. There might not have even been food in front of her, for all the attention she paid it. Every bit of her was focused on her friend, and when she spoke, her voice was clear and surprisingly strong, confident.
Kara didn’t know if she could say it the right way; she never seemed to. But she would try anyway, because it was Dhaunmyr, and because – for once, this was something she knew a thing or two about.
“You did right,” Kara said, firmly; there was no hesitation at all in her, and it was clear she believed the words with the entirety of her being. “You protected yourself and your friend. If they had not come to harm you, they would be alive. But it is also right to feel – regretful that they had to die.” Kara looked at Dhaunmyr. “You should never take a life lightly, or just as a whim. You should not take it in anger. But – if there is no choice left to you, if it is their life versus yours or the life of one you hold dear – do not stay your blow. Do what you must.”
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Post by enchilada on May 21, 2019 18:19:09 GMT
“Without question, I know I’d do it for you. It’s just... yeah.” Dhaunmyr sighed. He was reassured by her conviction. At least, at least she wasn’t angry with him, at least she understood so much. He felt a smile, but it didn’t show, it wasn’t as strong as how he was otherwise feeling. Maybe it glimmered in his eyes for a second. Maybe it would stay between him and his mind.
“Also, he’s not my friend. We’re... I mean. I know his name. And he has some more powerful magic than I. But really... that’s it.” Dhaunmyr supposed he was an acquaintance, they’d just been through a very stressful situation together, that was all. There was nothing else to it, and he was okay with that. Mostly. He had no idea what to do if he saw him again. Dhaunmyr would want to at least say something, perhaps follow up on a suggested promise, but, wouldn’t that be insufferably awkward and disjointed and — that would suggest he cared about the man in the first place.
Which, by Dhaunmyr’s own essence, was impossible. Dhaunmyr Vivacity didn’t care about anybody, or anything, other than himself. And Kara. But she wasn’t, like, where he was. The people who he interacted with most were unlikely to ever know about her. So long as he kept his mouth shut.
Which was hard. Not blabbering on about Kara at any given opportunity was almost impossible. He loved her very much, very deeply, and he couldn’t imagine sacrificing her for a thing.
“I really don’t... make friends.”
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Post by moralhazard on May 21, 2019 18:28:28 GMT
Kara nodded a little. She wasn’t sure if what she said had sunk in. Dhaunmyr was smart, though; she thought he would understand. But it was hard, the first time, to take another life. Kara remembered it. It was easier now, but – Kara still tried not to take any lives she didn’t have to, at least any non-orc lives.
Orcs didn’t count.
Except, Kara thought, slowly, maybe – maybe there was one orc who did. It was a strange and intrusive thought; she wasn’t sure she liked it. But Dredka had proven herself, in combat, and Kara couldn’t deny that she was worthy of… respect. But she was the only one; she would always be the only one.
Dhaunmyr changed the subject – Kara thought it was okay if he was uncomfortable, these conversations didn’t happen immediately – to clarify that it wasn’t his friend, it was his… a person whose name he knew. Kara scowled. What was she supposed to call the men he – saw, exactly? Kara didn’t mind what Dhaunmyr did, she didn’t want to do it herself, but she didn’t judge, but it also wasn’t exactly terminology she knew well.
And then -
“… We’re friends,” Kara said, slowly, frowning at Dhaunmyr.
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Post by enchilada on May 21, 2019 19:28:24 GMT
“Of course. To every rule, an exception, or maybe a couple.” Dhaunmyr smiled.
Dhaunmyr didn’t think he’d ever make a friend as good as Kara was to him. That was delightful at first, but the second he really thought about it — it wasn’t going to last. If there was one thing he wanted, he wanted her to stay around just a little longer. That felt selfish, though. Life was hard. Whatever was after, he was sure that Kara would have a fine time. If she didn’t, he would have a word with the gods, personally.
He probably wouldn’t have to be upset for very long after that.
Dhaunmyr went in again for a quick tear at the bun. It was better not to dwell over the inevitable. Fifty, sixty years probably seemed like a long time when you had eighty. Dhaunmyr just had to close his eyes. He shifted in his chair, seemingly unable to just pick a normal position. He settled on sitting cross-legged in it. There was one rule with apparently no exception.
“They say, if you like men and women, you can’t sit in chairs properly.” He laughed. “I agree.”:
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Post by moralhazard on May 21, 2019 20:36:18 GMT
Kara’s scowl lightened back to neutrality, and she nodded, content. She waited, looking at Dhaunmyr. He was fidgeting, still, but he took another piece of the cinnamon bun, even if he hadn’t actually eaten it yet. He shifted the topic and himself. Kara had no idea what he was talking about – how would one have anything to do with the other? – but she went back to eating chicken and rice with a slight shrug.
Homemade food, cinnamon buns, strange conversations at the kitchen table, mysterious references to things she didn't understand but was apparently expected to, and unexpected gifts. Kara listened to Dhaunmyr continue on with one ear, most of her attention back on her food. A little corner of her mind was left to bask, feeling - content. She hadn't been here long, and it wasn't home yet, but Kara knew it would be. For years, Kara had thought she would never have a home again; the last few weeks with Dhaunmyr, searching for a place, it had felt too new and raw, exciting but terrifying at the same time.
Now they were here - they were home. And if she hadn't settled in yet... Kara had begun to believe that she would. She would do whatever it took to keep this place safe - not just this home, but Waterdeep too. She would keep them safe, and if she died trying, she would account it a death well spent. Kara was unaware of it, but there was a little smile on her lips as she kept eating, nodding periodically at Dhaunmyr.
((9,086 words))
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