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Post by enchilada on May 11, 2019 16:31:02 GMT
Her ears pushed backwards, and she tensed. Honeybun was ready to run before she calmed her instincts to a dull whirring. She didn’t know what to say. As predictable as people could be, she didn’t have enough information about Kara, or this man, to figure out that her reaction would be so... explosive. The fight had been calm and cool. Kara wasn’t now. Somebody was important to her, somewhere.
And they were lucky. That passion was... yeah.
“Yeah? How do you know that? Are you sure you’re not just projecting how you want him to be onto him? Why would he, presumably, lie about that to you? To himself, rather.”
Honeybun thought, wholeheartedly, that she could help Kara, and that she could help this friend. Kara needed to sort out her group, get them all on good terms and doing that together, not one on one, and this guy, Honey would wait to hear it, but she could only assume he would benefit from the same thing. Nobody was solitary, and the whole idea of a lone wolf was that it didn’t survive. Humans, elves, dwarves, halflings, so on, they were pack animals, just like most civilisations, not that you could really call them those, in the wild.
“There are lots of things that are pretty. Subconsciously, you went with something that only lasts a fortnight.”
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Post by moralhazard on May 11, 2019 17:04:58 GMT
Kara stared at Honeybun, eyes wide. The concept of projection was new to her, but she understood what Honeybun meant. Did she really see Dhaunmyr, or did she see him as Kara wanted him to be?
Kara was gripping the tankard much more tightly than she had meant to. No – he was strong. He – Kara gave her head a little shake. Why did Dhaunmyr think he was so weak? Why did he say those – things about himself.
“No,” Kara whispered. “No, I – ” She stared down at the liquid in the mug, slowly sloshing it back and forth, and looked up at Honeybun. In battle she had been fierce, brave, determined, unyielding; just now she looked lost and utterly confused, and more than a little helpless. It only lasted a moment before Kara scowled again, her habitual frown flickering back into place.
“He – he was badly treated,” Kara explained. “That’s why he thinks… he thinks he’s… but he survived, he – he survived and… so he must be strong. Because he made it out and… you can’t… the ones who are weak don’t make it.” Kara couldn’t look at Honeybun anymore; she just kept her eyes firmly fixed on her mug and the ale inside it.
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Post by enchilada on May 11, 2019 17:55:21 GMT
“I see.” Honeybun nodded. “But he’s not here with us, so I’m not interested exactly in him. How does that make you feel?”
As interesting as it was to dig into this man, Honey knew she had plenty of opportunity to do that later. Then, it was Kara. A small part of Honey wondered if her attitude there carried over when the two were together. No focus on what Kara needed, or wanted, just him. Boys did that, they grabbed and domineered. She spent most of her time around them, except they were socially inept and terrible at personal hygiene — was that a Waterdeep thing or a wizard thing?
She doubted she’d get many answers if she asked.
But that made her worry, just a little, just to herself. She had seen it with them, the beasts. They made a new friend, often they found someone to date for approximately a week before it all fell apart. That friend would go on to get too worried and invested themself, and then become something of a therapist, and a caretaker.
That was Honeybun’s job, the first part at least. She wanted to help, and to listen. She wanted to make sure all the cool people in the world didn’t break down and stop rockin’ cause the weight of the world was too much to carry on even the strongest shoulders. There were stories about heroes falling from grace because of their emotions, that they couldn’t make the final battle. Honeybun had decided to eliminate that. Mostly with the music she wrote. That other bards could perform it and have others finally feel heard, but. Well. Kara was right there. Also, therapy dogs were a thing, and that made her chuckle.
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Post by moralhazard on May 11, 2019 23:22:03 GMT
Kara scowled at Honeybun.
How did it made her feel? How did what make her feel? What kind of a question was that anyway?
How did she feel about - Dhaunmyr? He was her friend. Kara would have died for him in a second, even though she knew how angry he would be with her for it, and with himself. But she didn’t think that was what Honeybun had meant.
How did she feel about Dhaunmyr surviving the Underdark? Good. If he had died she would never have met him. She wasn’t sure he was entirely free yet. Kara hoped he would be, in time. But if Honeybun had wanted to ask about that - wouldn’t she have been more direct?
How did she feel about... Honeybun not being interested in Dhaunmyr? Kara didn’t care. She understood why Honeybun wouldn’t be interested in someone she hadn’t met. But - what a strange question to ask! It didn’t make sense.
Kara found herself at a loss. It wouldn’t be good she answered one way but Honeybun had meant a different question altogether. Her mouth felt very much as if it was running away from her. Kara felt back on an old, safe standby: she shrugged.
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Post by enchilada on May 12, 2019 9:56:42 GMT
Honeybun nodded at the shrug, slowly. She wondered what caused it.
Did Kara not know how she felt? Or should she have been more specific?
Honeybun felt she could sort that out in a simple question, without shadowing any doubt on her own understanding. “Really? So you don’t feel worried that he’s underestimating himself? Interesting.”
She leaned forwards a bit, to the bar. If this guy really was anything like the people she’d met with in the past, present, and unfortunately, future, then Kara was probably a bit... worn down. Possibly sick of his nonsense.
But Kara didn’t seem someone who would take any kind of nonsense. So either this was the most important, amazing butterfly pretty boy in the world, or there was something she didn’t quite get here. Something was being left out. Was Kara really that tolerant of someone who was, in simple terms, a liar? Not only to themself, but to the people around them? So she’d gotten Kara wrong.
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Post by moralhazard on May 12, 2019 14:29:39 GMT
Kara’s head jerked back up and she stared at Honeybun. Then she scowled. That was cheating, Kara felt. She hadn’t said that! She hadn’t even meant it. There was no possible way Honeybun’s question could have been that.
“No,” Kara shook her head. She hadn’t said that. Of course she worried about Dhaunmyr. Of course she wanted him to learn what he was capable of. But there wasn’t very much Kara could do. She thought their training lessons were helping, but in the end Dhaunmyr was the only one who could help himself.
She said precisely none of that though, setting her glass down and crossing her arms over her chest. Safer not to talk, Kara thought; this conversation was already almost more than Kara could handle.
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Post by enchilada on May 12, 2019 16:07:51 GMT
Honeybun looked at Kara carefully. Then she spent a good while analysing her behaviour, and Kara’s. She decided there was an obvious path, a clear solution, but she wasn’t sure what it was yet. Most things were obvious, so long as you could know what you were looking for.
“Ah. Well...”
She shifted again, trying to find the exact right words and the exact right approach. That wasn’t something that came particularly easily, if you didn’t know what they were. People had to be easy to find the solution for, though, they were driven by thought.
Even irrational thinking was rational, when you understood the circumstances — oh. “Have you been direct about that yet? It’s just, that when people have these problems with self image, there’s always a reason, even if it doesn’t immediately seem linked. Even if you’re helping him, maybe... maybe it won’t take the proper effect until you, like, tell him that you’re worried, you know? Then it looks more like help. So it helps more? Placebo but also real help all in one.”
Honeybun looked down at the little pads on her hand, then back at Kara. “And maybe he’ll say he doesn’t want help. But he does, in the rational part of his brain. Eventually it takes over. Eventually. Even if it still seems like the irrational part is talking, the rational part wears down unhelpful thoughts. Especially if it means keeping friends.”
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Post by moralhazard on May 12, 2019 20:24:37 GMT
Kara softened a little; this line of questioning was less aggressive, and made her feel less – anxious, and less on edge. She looked at Honeybun, frowning intently and thinking over the advice. Just… talk to Dhaunmyr? Kara didn’t like the idea of thinking that her help wasn’t as helpful as it could be, just because she didn’t know how to put things into words well.
Kara nodded, slowly, looking at Honeybun. “I – I told him…” Kara tried to think what she’d said to Dhaunmyr, and faltered a little. “… What should I say?” She asked. Should she just walk up to Dhaunmyr and say she was worried? Did she need to be specific? What exactly was she worried about? His not eating? His lack of confidence? Did worry cover all of those, or did she have to tell him once for each worry?
Kara felt a little pulse of fear just at the thought of any of it. But – her hands fisted with determination – for Dhaunmyr, she would figure it out.
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Post by enchilada on May 14, 2019 13:30:26 GMT
She clenched and unclenched her fist, other hand loose in her lap. This was full advice, this had to be right. There was more of a weight on this being just so. Kara would take this — it was specific. Honeybun was suddenly just slightly concerned. But she could get this right, no problem.
“So, just. Sit him down and... tell him — ask him about the things you think are wrong. Then, just...” Honeybun shrugged.
There were things that she didn’t know or understand, this man seemed to be something she had no idea about, but she knew when something was wrong, if you wanted to help, you just had to start the conversation.
“You don’t have to lead it, y’know? Just get the talk started, and I’m sure if you’re good friends he’ll fill in the rest. Like you, he might not quite be ready for whatever it is he needs, and maybe you’re not the one who will really help him, but you’ll get him started down a good path. I know you can do that, Kara, you care enough to manage that.” Honeybun seemed a little more distant, maybe more mellow, of a sudden. For all her personality, she was completely able to just switch off unnecessary parts and move on with what she needed to do. There was a focus in her eye.
“Unless I’m wrong about you.”
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Post by moralhazard on May 14, 2019 17:08:09 GMT
“Sit him down,” Kara repeated Honeybun’s instructions very softly under her breath, nodding slowly. “Ask about things that are - wrong.” That wasn’t very specific. Kara swallowed. Ask how? Just - ask? Ask if he was okay? Ask if he was still mentally trapped in the Underdark? Ask if he would try eating a full meal? Kara frowned, worried already. Get the talk started and he would fill in the rest. Kara’s shoulders relaxed again. Dhaunmyr did like to fill in. If she could get him started he would talk. She began to slowly nod again. At Honeybun’s encouragement Kara nodded a little more. She scowled at the rabbit when Honeybun challenged her. “I - I can do it.” Kara swallowed, hard, and her face set. “I will do it.” It was like deciding to enter a battle, for her; once she had committed there was no going back. She would just figure out what to say, and then she would talk to Dhaunmyr.
((Word count: 4,083))
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Post by enchilada on May 14, 2019 21:24:26 GMT
“Yes, you can do it.” Honeybun gave Kara another smile. Then she took another look at her glass, then Kara. “You know, I think... I think rabbits shouldn’t drink alcohol. I think I’ve said too much. Sorry if you got uncomfortable.”
Much like she greeted Kara, Honey rubbed her head gently against her arm, and, forgetting entirely about her original plan, Honeybun hopped down from her stool, out of the tavern, and back to her room, where she’d fall asleep on a book, and half a parchment piece of research notes, that ultimately would make no sense at all, until she remembered her little game.
Merchant hunting.
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