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Post by moralhazard on Apr 26, 2019 14:02:06 GMT
Dhaunmyr asked Kara to close her eyes. Kara wondered; she had slept in front of him twice now, once because she was so badly injured that she couldn’t do anything else, and once because she was merely tired and comfortable. All the same, it made her feel painfully vulnerable.
Kara closed her eyes.
She felt something whisk against her face, and stiffened slightly, hands tensing in her lap. She brought them together, gripping one with the other, and focused on relaxing them. She couldn’t even take the sort of big deep breaths that helped so much, because they moved her entire body. She counted the rhythm of her breaths all the same, slow and small and steady, in and out. She did trust Dhaunmyr, for all that he had told her not to. If it was a mistake, then she would pay for it later.
“No,” Kara felt the answers to both the questions he had left her were simple. She wasn’t having any difficulty; her days were busy and full, and much more satisfying than working for the Freewolves had been. It wasn’t like being a guard, but she couldn’t do that anymore. She didn’t have a secret mission either, at least not by her own estimation.
“Eilistraee wants to save all of -“ Kara hesitated. Them? You? She let her voice trail off instead in a tone she hoped was questioning, assuming Dhaunmyr would fill it in and keep explaining.
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Post by enchilada on Apr 26, 2019 15:01:17 GMT
He worked gently at her face, not really wanting to add anything so drastic, yet. He’d do her eyeshadow, and if she let him, once he was done and she’d seen it, he’d use it as a base for something a bit more dramatic. He didn’t necessarily count on being allowed to do so, even if she’d already said yes. Dhaunmyr very carefully touched up her eyebrows, exaggerating the shape just enough to frame her face and lift up her usual glare to something just slightly softer. A tiny bit of blush applied with a bigger brush, again, just warmed up her expression. Dhaunmyr didn’t want to mask anything about her, just enhance how she looked. She was already so pretty, at least in his eyes. Even though there wasn’t much that he wanted to do, he spent a rather long time doing it. It had to look perfect.
“So if you’re feeling full of purpose, may I ask what that is? I wouldn’t mind listening for ideas.” There were some people who had been lead to Waterdeep by the Dark Dancer herself, and they wanted a shrine. But it... it felt personal, his worship, he wasn’t so interested in such a thing, although he could understand the want. Religious structures felt dangerous to him, he supposed there had to be lots of humans and half elves making all the noise for the thing, because Dhaunmyr outright refused to ever step foot in a temple or stand beside it for long. It probably didn’t win him any favours. He did, however, want to attend at least one gathering of worship. Somewhere in the woods, song and dance, feast. It was clear Eilistraee had interests in restoring elves to what they used to be. He wasn’t quite the type to frolic.
“Eilistraee is a wonderful goddess, and a desperately good person. She wants to save us, yes, but she also wants to help her mother, and her brother. She... she forgives everyone. That’s not to say she doesn’t spring to aid those in need. In fact, I believe wholeheartedly that she lead me to you, or somewhat in the reverse. I don’t know if you would have helped me as you did if I had not known you before. But the moths, and the siren song, and the battle horns, and the longing for the trees and the forests, all that guides me is by her hand.”
Dhaunmyr handed the mirror to Kara. “You can look.”
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Post by moralhazard on Apr 26, 2019 15:18:44 GMT
Dhaunmyr asked about her purpose.
Kara thought. Her days were full; she was content, or at least she thought she was. How to explain her purpose, exactly? Work didn’t come in to it. Being a bouncer or standing outside someone’s warehouse wasn’t a purpose. It was something of a surprise to her that Dhaunmyr didn’t already know it. They had discussed it before, she thought.
That was all right; Kara would explain.
“I protect those who need it,” Kara explained, still sitting quietly as Dhaunmyr painted her face. She paused, thoughtfully, then added, to be fair, “when I can.”
Had Eilistraee led them together? It was an uncomfortable idea. Kara was sure Helm didn’t intervene at all in her life, that she didn’t register as a flicker in his great duty.
“Then I am grateful to her,” Kara said, in a small and uncertain sounding voice.
Dhaunmyr had stopped what he was doing to her face. Something cool touched her hand, and Kara took it, reflexively. Dhaunmyr told her she could look, and Kara opened her eyes, slowly, looking down at the mirror.
Kara blinked. It was a surprise to see herself at all; she wasn’t used to it. But one didn’t forget one’s own face, at least not in a few years. Her eyes had changed; there was something in them, a hardness that hadn’t been there when she was young. She didn’t look as different as she had expected; she lifted the mirror slightly, changing the angle. She looked - softer, prettier. Not pretty - never pretty. But less... Kara didn’t know what the right words were. She wondered if she could intimidate people like this; she wondered if maybe she wouldn’t scare children so much, if she wore such make-up. She had worried she would look clown-ish; she should have trusted that Dhaunmyr would be skilled at this.
Kara lowered the mirror, looked at Dhaunmyr, and gave him a little nod.
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Post by enchilada on Apr 26, 2019 15:41:57 GMT
“I suppose I’m just not like you enough to think about that kind of thing. Even though I can look after myself much better now, and thank you for that, I don’t think I’m... I’m not strong enough to do that. It’s incredibly noble of you. Maybe my purpose now is just... to figure things out. As long as you don’t mind helping me with that.” He needed someone to tell him when he was being an idiot. He knew he was full of lies and self doubts, but he couldn’t distinguish between them and the truth. Faerveren reassured him, but Kara was too no nonsense to just be saying that to make him feel better... he hoped.
“I really don’t believe in chance. At least, not for such... improbable things. All of Waterdeep, all of the world... doesn’t that just sound so big for me to meet you? For you to be who you are?”
Kara was important. She was special. Dhaunmyr wasn’t.
“Do you like it? Did I do a good job? I’ve never worked with... human skin before. That sounds so bad.”
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Post by moralhazard on Apr 26, 2019 16:07:15 GMT
Kara shrugged, as best as she could without moving her face, both at Dhaunmyr’s ruminations on himself and at his use of the world noble to describe her.
Dhaunmyr struck her as much stronger than he thought himself, and she didn’t just mean his unusually buff arms. She didn’t see how someone weak could have survived what he had, let alone left the Underdark and made it to Waterdeep. But being strong and feeling strong weren’t always the same. Certainly Kara knew many with the opposite problem, who believed themselves strong but were weak; they were most often bullies, those who felt the urge to pray on those around them to bolster themselves, to reassure that false sense of strength. Dhaunmyr was the opposite: he was strong but believed himself weak. She was glad to learn that that didn’t make him a bully. Kara didn’t know how many of those like him there might be; she didn’t think most people would be willing to confess those feelings to her.
She was glad Dhaunmyr had. It was the only way to try and help.
Kara didn’t understand exactly what Dhaunmyr meant. For her to be who she was? She supposed it was improbable that they were both in Waterdeep, Dhaunmyr from the Underdark and Kara from Sundabar. She supposed it was improbable they had both survived this long. She supposed it was most improbable that they were friends. Dhaunmyr was a night elf of fashion and beauty, very glamorous, Kara knew, even if she didn’t really understand his fashion choices. He liked pretty things; she was sure of that. And, for some reason, he liked her. Kara decided Dhaunmyr was probably right; it did sound like maybe Eilistraee had had in a hand in it. Most likely the goddess wanted Kara to keep Dhaunmyr safe, and hopefully she approved of Kara teaching Dhaunmyr to keep himself safe.
“I like it,” Kara said, very softly. “It – it’s like me, but…” she was quiet, lifting the mirror again, and couldn’t quite bring herself to finish the sentence. Carefully, she put the mirror down again, turning it over so the reflective surface sat against the blanket.
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Post by enchilada on Apr 26, 2019 16:29:46 GMT
Dhaunmyr grinned. “But even prettier? I’m not sure I’m that skilled. Let’s go with different. Softer, maybe? Gentler? There’s nothing wrong with the opposites of those, of course, I do think humans have too narrow of an ideal of beauty for everyone. The classic pale warrior, the red haired dwarf, the skinny, tiny elf with such pathetic hands they can barely hold a bow in position. Everything else needs to look like one of those or be condemned to the undesirable pile. Of course, drow are worse with this, but we’re all... carefully bred. There are no ugly drow. And if there were? There won’t be soon. Of course this does mean that a lot of people look so... average. And then you come up to the Realms Above and everyone is absolutely disgusting.” He shook his head. “I am very particular with whom I speak for this reason. I can find myself too preoccupied with flaws to manage anything else to stare at.”
He rubbed his hands together, taking care to run his fingertips down the poker straight scars on his palms. No flaws, no flaws. None at all on Dhaunmyr. Or else... well...
“I’m sorry, I forgot entirely to check. Have I interrupted your plans for today?” Dhaunmyr asked, slightly nervous all of a sudden. He felt the gaze of six eyes, staring him down, he felt his breath catch in his throat. He heard a shout, a voice, saying something, but too loud and too far away and too close and too quiet to understand. The temple was cold even under all those layers, and he was going to watch them— one, two three, four, five... Dhaunmyr tapped at his fingernails. Click click click. “I really should have asked first.”
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Post by moralhazard on Apr 26, 2019 16:54:10 GMT
“Softer,” Kara agreed. She didn’t think Dhaunmyr meant it in a bad way, and she didn’t either. She swallowed a little, not picking the mirror up again. There was no point in dwelling on what haves and might have beens.
Kara looked straight at Dhaunmyr when he spoke about how particular he was. Then, transparent as ever, she glanced down at herself. She wasn’t wearing the wrappings on her arms. Although her face didn’t have many scars, the same couldn’t be said of the rest of her. She traced her fingers over a few of the scars on her left arm, ending at the circled scars at her wrist, and turned her hands over, examining the nicks and notches on her skin.
Yes, it must be Eilistraee’s influence. The more Dhaunmyr spoke, the more convinced of it Kara became.
Kara looked up at Dhaunmyr when he asked about her plans. “No,” she said. It was true; Kara hadn’t had any plans for the day. She had thought about going to the training grounds early, before their afternoon meeting, for a few extra hours of glaive work, but while this wasn’t… the same as training, Kara didn’t mind it either. She had work that night, of course, at the same bar where Dhaunmyr had defended himself. She had worked there last night as well. Warren seemed to like her; Kara wasn’t sure why, but she didn’t mind either.
Then, because Dhaunmyr seemed to be going somewhere in his head, and Kara didn’t want him to feel bad, she added. “This is nice.”
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Post by enchilada on Apr 26, 2019 17:21:20 GMT
“Okay, good. I wouldn’t want to keep you from something more important.” Dhaunmyr smiled, he could just... focus on Kara, everything would just go away, and he could just breathe. “I know you must get up to far more stimulating things than talking to me. My mind is so numbed by dealing with idiots all day.”
“So! Do you want to move on and add something a bit more intense? You pick the colours, if you want. I’ve got all number of purples for reasons I’m sure aren’t beyond you. But of course I have others too, plenty, in fact. Something for every occasion. Bright colours or dark? There are simply too many options, Kara, I fear you may have to endure me attacking your face again at some point. But it’s so much fun. Faerveren already has this kind of... air about her, she doesn’t need me playing with makeup on her, and Brennip is... well... it’s not really her thing. That’s fine! She’s lovely all the same. Her beard is pretty impressive. If only...” Dhaunmyr laughed. He didn’t think anything but a bare face suited his... ‘image’... but it would have been nice to have simply known what he would have looked like. Perhaps braided in places with jewels? His hair would have had to have been different, that was for sure.
He was still lit up. It was nice. Kara was having a good time. That made him happy, it was nice to think that he could actually make someone feel something other than fear or anger, or stress.
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Post by moralhazard on Apr 26, 2019 17:34:31 GMT
Kara looked down at the colors, then looked wide-eyed back up at Dhaunmyr, a look of faint terror creeping into her eyes. Bright or dark? She really didn’t know. She knew that Dhaunmyr had said they were going to try more after this, but she hadn’t known that he would actually make her choose things. How was she supposed to know what would look nice?
After a moment, Kara volunteered, somewhat timidly. “I like blue."
Kara just nodded as Dhaunmyr discussed his friends and their beards and his lack thereof. She thought she could like Brennip. Kara had grown up with dwarves; Sundabar was full of them. It didn’t really bother Kara that she hadn’t actually spoken with Brennip much. There was something comforting and familiar about dwarves. Maybe it was just that she didn’t have to crane her neck to look at them. She thought Faerveren seemed very nice, but Kara was still more than a little nervous around her.
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Post by enchilada on Apr 26, 2019 17:59:12 GMT
Dhaunmyr laughed a little, and nodded. He wanted to try and coax a little... ah... brightness out of her eyes anyway. Make them really stand out. That might be the way to do it. He didn’t need any more instruction than that.
“Close your eyes for me, again.”
He was gentle, adding a much lighter, almost white colour to the corner of her eyelids, then a light blue in the middle, and a deeper one. He took time blending them out, making it just right. Blended well, but colours remaining distinct. He was sure it would have worked, but he’d see the effectiveness... soon. “Just a second.” He lined the top lid, thin and black. He’d seen some people just smear their eyes with black. It was somewhat distasteful, in his opinion, but with a steady hand and small brush, it could look good. Of course it did, he was doing it. He waited a moment, just to make sure everything was fairly set, then nodded to himself. Perfect. Pristine. Dhaunmyr was concentrating too hard to really talk, a rare moment when he thought of nothing but the task at hand.
Dhaunmyr wasn’t quite done. “Okay, look up for me, like, with your head.” He just wanted to sneak a little blue beneath the eye, balance it out a little.
“Help yourself to the mirror.”
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Post by moralhazard on Apr 26, 2019 18:14:56 GMT
Kara closed her eyes once more. She was a little grateful for a small break in the conversation. There was a lot of pressure on her eyelids, and it was sort of hard to keep them shut, but she did her best. Dhaunmyr asked her to tilt her head up, or so Kara thought, and she did so, lifting her chin slightly.
Finally, he was done, and told her she could look.
Kara opened her eyes and lifted the mirror.
Her eyes – blazed. They were blue, yes, but a sort of bluish-gray, nothing that Kara felt really stood out, or nothing that she remembered as standing out. Now, they looked bright blue, the colors that Dhaunmyr had drawn on her lids seeming to totally change the way they looked in her face, the color of them.
It looked nice. She looked nice, nicer than she'd expected, but Kara felt a little – silly. It wasn’t for her, this sort of prettying up. What was the point of it? She lowered the mirror, slowly, looking at Dhaunmyr. It was enough for her that he seemed happy. She wasn’t sure what to say about it. Kara felt as if he’d somehow put someone else’s eyes on her face; the make-up seemed to clash a little with something in her gaze. She swallowed. It was like looking into a mirror that reflected another time, another girl, a Kara that she might have been, if not for… well… everything.
“It’s good,” Kara said, softly. She didn’t want to hurt Dhaunmyr’s feelings, but she couldn’t help her innate honesty, a strange compulsion not to lie. Even that felt like an evasion. “I’m not – used to this." She hoped that would explain why she wasn’t as excited as he was.
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Post by enchilada on Apr 26, 2019 18:50:06 GMT
He stared at her, carefully trying to piece together her reaction. He was nervous, of course he was. But the perked right up when she explained why she felt as she did, his internal ball of sunshine spilling out in his smile. He pushed his hair behind his ear, finally showing off his entire face. He wasn’t scared of Kara pointing out his flaws, or, to be honest, noticing them.
"l understand. I sort of thought you'd feel that way, even before I came over, but you just... I don't know. I thought it might be fun. It was! You're... you're a good canvas."
His hair flopped back forward as he spoke. He more forcibly shoved it back, smoothing it down as bet he could, and for once he didn't look so terribly tired under it. "You did have fun, right?"
It was all well and good for Dhaunmyr to have a good time, but Kara was part of it too. He didn't want her to feel uncomfortable with anything, but he felt he had that effect on people. He was very all or nothing. There was little he felt he couldn't ruin with his intensity, and there was no real way to convince him otherwise about that fact.
"Because, I mean, if you didn't, then I owe you a favour, and I can only imagine the trials and tribulations Miss Kara Bellringer would drag someone in her debt through!" Dhaunmyr exclaimed, pushing backwards with his hand against his forehead. He peeked with one eye for her reaction, otherwise frozen in mocking despair at the imagined situation.
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Post by moralhazard on Apr 26, 2019 18:57:57 GMT
Kara’s shoulders relaxed a little when Dhaunmyr said he understood. She didn’t want to offend him, and she had worried she would. It always seemed to be so easy for her to offend people; too often Kara said or did the wrong thing, and she didn’t know why. Somehow she hadn’t scared Dhaunmyr off yet. She was even starting to be convinced that maybe it wasn’t just a matter of time until she did. He was her friend, now, and that meant something to Kara. She hoped it meant something to Dhaunmyr as well. She thought it did; she didn’t think it was a word that either of them took lightly.
Dhaunmyr asked if Kara had enjoyed herself. She noticed, because she paid attention to that sort of thing, that he looked – better, than usual. Not better in the handsome sense, because he was always handsome, but a little less tired and drawn, even if he was as thin as ever.
Before Kara could reassure him Dhaunmyr was in the midst of a burst of dramatics, pushing his hand back against his forehead, and spoiling the effect by peeking out of one eye at her.
Kara smiled at him, making a little noise that seemed to start in a bubble of happiness in her chest and emerge out of her mouth – like a stifled laugh. She nodded; the smile faded away. If Dhaunmyr hadn’t looked right at that moment, he might not have seen it at all. “I had fun,” Kara promised. She meant it, too; she wasn't sure about the eye make-up, or even the subtler coat he'd given her at first, but it had been - fun. A bittersweet reminder of better times past, and - something of an edge of a promise that there might be better times to come.
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Post by enchilada on Apr 26, 2019 19:13:53 GMT
He flung himself forwards again, having to straighten up, he’d moved with such force. Dhaunmyr grabbed Kara’s hands. As much as he was putting effort in trying to look as worried as he could, he was still smiling, and his eyes were shining like he’d seen something stupid and childish to do.
Kara had smiled. She’d laughed, in fact. He wasn’t sure she’d really done that before. She wasn’t necessarily cold, but she was harder to read, however she felt usually didn’t show. The sound, the act itself, the radiance of her face, all pulled at him, so he pulled at her, literally. Her hands, specifically, granted. But that wasn’t the point. He pursed his lips, it didn’t stop the expression from being so damn obvious. He held them as close to his chest as he could get them.
“Kara. Are you feeling alright? I think you must be ill.” His fake concern was dripping with amusement, and a genuine friendly fondness and affection. “My darling! You smiled!” Dhaunmyr released her hands, resting his in his lap. He allowed himself to smile again, warm, reflective, pondering. He, by no means, wanted Kara to refrain from smiling. He hoped she took it as more positive reinforcement than anything else. He wasn’t making fun of her at all. Dhaunmyr used his hands as more of a focus than her face, for once, how they were clasped in his lap. It cast darkness on the scars. Dhaunmyr cast his own internal darkness on their creator, he had in fact done so this morning. And then he remembered her face and... it didn’t compare to Kara’s smile.
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Post by moralhazard on Apr 26, 2019 19:31:45 GMT
Dhaunmyr flung himself forward to snatch at her hands. It was a real effort for Kara to keep herself from pulling back or – worse, but she managed it, staring wide-eyed at him. He clutched her hands against his chest, and Kara swallowed, slightly, not entirely sure what was going on.
Dhaunmyr’s excitement left a queasy feeling in Kara’s stomach. Her gaze dropped, and the last vestiges of the smile vanished. She pulled her hands back the moment he released them, looking up at him, then down again. “I – I smile,” Kara knew it for a lie the moment the words escaped her mouth. She dropped her gaze down to the bedspread again, fidgeting with the scars at her wrist again, this time focusing on the ones on her right arm.
Unless – was Dhaunmyr making fun of her? Kara peeked back up at him. No; she didn’t think so. She might have preferred it if he had. The alternative was that she really did smile so rarely that… that he was genuinely shocked. Kara didn’t keep track of her facial expressions. Didn’t she – smile? She liked Dhaunmyr, she enjoyed spending time with him. Kara swallowed, feeling painfully self-conscious, as bad as any memory of her early teenaged years.
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