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Post by moralhazard on Apr 19, 2019 21:44:26 GMT
Kara glanced at Dhaunmyr, then at Caim, and decided it wasn’t any of her business.
Relieved, now, by the absence of the pressure on her – apparently she’d done her part – Kara reached out for the piece of bread again. With the conversation turned more pleasant and the pressure off, her hunger was re-awakened. She finished the slice off with perfect, rapt attention, very good at eating as though nothing else in the world existed, and took another swallow of ale along with it. The food was much more satisfying than the drink, but the ale was good too.
Then, because it seemed like there was no guarantee that breakfast would last much longer, Kara gave in to temptation and took another piece of fruit, this time one of the orange-yellow pitted fruits. She examined it, rolling it over in her hands and smelling it, then brought it up to her mouth and took a small bite of the soft, sweet flesh; it was almost exactly the same color inside as out, with a small dark pit just visible deeper inside the surface.
Kara set the fruit down after that first bite, looking from Caim to Dhaunmyr, hunger sated enough that she could focus on the conversation again.
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Post by orby on Apr 19, 2019 22:21:10 GMT
Caim knew he hadn't managed to contribute anything particularly worthwhile, but he still wasn't anticipating the harsh look Dhaunmyr gave him -- he subsequent smile didn't seem to soften the look at all -- or the stiff reprimand. The tiefling seemed to shrink a little, either under the sharp stare or the scolding. His smile fell away and his eyes dropped to the bread he was picking at more and more slowly.
Fuck. Apparently he'd been tempting fate with that moment of relief. He glanced sideways to Kara as if hoping she'd interrupt, but no, the food seemed to be claiming all of her attention. He'd have no help from that corner. When another few moments passed with no random acts of god spontaneously distracting them all, Caim bit his lower lip to muffle a sigh.
(It wasn't as if he'd really expected any aid from that corner either. He hadn't felt like Lathander particularly cared about him for years. Still, the sense of abandonment stung.)
"I'm sorry," he began automatically, voice going a little quieter in his apologetic tone. His fingers kept fidgeting with the simple meal, tearing the crust from his bread. "I just...don't really have anything to say. I was invited, so..."
So, that was what brought him to this moment in the most literal sense. He frowned slightly, all too aware of how unsatisfactory an answer that probably was, but still simply shrugged. Knowing it didn't make him any more eager to share.
"I just wanted to help." Gods knew that was all he'd ever tried to do. The jury was still out, however, on whether he actually had or not.
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Post by enchilada on Apr 19, 2019 22:58:19 GMT
Dhaunmyr muttered to himself, clearly in the flowing, flashy language of Elvish, but harshly, it took his eyes and his eyebrows to spit the words out, nostrils too. In the moment, he probably actually looked like a ‘drow’, or at least, what people imagined when they were telling tall tales about kidnappings and murders. Angry, cold, and eager to rip off your arm for two silvers and a laugh.
“I’m sorry— I. How about we talk about something more interesting, then, seeing as we don’t have many future plans or motivations. Say, if you could go anywhere, where would you visit? I’d quite like to go someplace different, completely different plants, wildlife, people... I’ve heard it’s like that up here! Nowhere is really the same.” When everyone has one leader to answer to, it’s hard to deviate, and only so many types of plants enjoy dark, damp caves.
“I don’t really know where exactly. Somewhere... loud, I suppose? I don’t really know how to describe that idea, but, as a backup? As long as I could just blink out immediately, I’ve got a pretty long list of things and people I’d like to punch at the earliest possible opportunity.” He seemed pretty lighthearted, after his mumbling outburst, at least.
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Post by moralhazard on Apr 19, 2019 23:35:55 GMT
Kara picked up her apricot again, and took another bite. Caim had gone with her original plan of attempting not to answer by interpreting the question literally. Given Dhaunmyr’s response, Kara was glad she’d tried another approach instead. She enjoyed the soft, sweet fruit, utterly unbothered by the heavy tension crackling in the air.
Dhaunmyr did his best to change the subject to something more pleasant. Kara took another bite of the apricot, nibbling at the edges of it. Where would she go if she could go anywhere?
Home.
The answer felt almost like a blow to the chest, and Kara dropped her eyes down to the table. Home didn’t exist anymore. She wasn’t sure how to respond to Dhaunmyr; she couldn’t remember the last time she’d made such… plans. Kara swallowed a little bit.
Where would she want to go?
“The Noble Hand, in Tsurlagol.” Kara said, quietly. “For the Ceremony of Honor to Helm,” She held the rest of the apricot in one slightly trembling hand. It wasn’t home, it wouldn’t be home, but there was no temple to Helm in Waterdeep – the only problem she had with the city so far – and maybe it would feel like home. Maybe it would be close enough.
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Post by orby on Apr 20, 2019 4:22:52 GMT
Dhaunmyr apologized and carried right on with an easy air, but Caim wasn't terribly comforted. It still stung to have been snapped at when he was already on edge. He had a sense, at least, that he wasn't entirely at fault here. What Dhaunmyr said didn't sound right even to his admittedly inexperienced ears. It wasn't just..."how it works". Talking wasn't about just inputting information and ignoring everything the other parties said to move on to the next set of responses. Caim was reluctant to get too personal on certain subjects, but this method still struck him as uncomfortably impersonal. Mechanical, almost.
But Kara wasn't saying anything about it, and he was even more reluctant to make waves. If that's how they wanted to do it, then...so be it, he supposed. At least the new topic was easier. A bit of tension eased out of him, even if the smile never returned.
"...Further out west, maybe," he said after a thoughtful pause, when it seemed an answer from him was expected. "I think I'd like to see whatever's across the sea from here."
And wherever he ended up, it'd be far away where word of mouth can't travel very fast. He'd stopped in Waterdeep out of need and aimlessness, unequipped for a longer journey and unsure where else to go that would be better than just disappearing into a crowd, but it'd only taken him maybe a day and a half to get even this far from Amphail. Maybe it was the sense that he was still so close that kept him uneasy. Maybe it'd all be better if he could get so far no one could even dream of finding him.
Maybe. But then maybe he was still mistaken to have left at all and that was what held him back from just blindly running further. At least here he was managing to survive. If it turned out he couldn't, he could still...
Ugh. The thought left an ill feeling in the pit of his stomach. He made to finish off the bread before thinking better of it and setting that last piece back down for now. Best not to ruin something decent because he's making himself sick with stress.
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Post by enchilada on Apr 20, 2019 15:58:32 GMT
Dhaunmyr clearly considered Kara’s answer with more care than Caim, it was just how he reacted to it and it read pretty clearly on his face. For a man so concerned with how people thought of him, it must have been something about the clouds rolling over the sun in the windows, or perhaps something fleeting crossed his mind that distracted him. In truth, he was allowing himself far too much to rely on how he remembered etiquette was supposed to show, rather than how he was learning it to be. And it was incredibly different.
“Miss Bellringer, perhaps you can refresh my memory of Helm? I have unfortunately concerned myself almost entirely with uh, well. The uhh. Her.” He awkwardly danced around a name, like if he said it, someone would make a scene, or potentially that he’d explode. Either or.
But still, he didn’t forget what Caim said.
“Exploration is rather interesting, I agree. Although, I personally haven’t even been on a boat before, I much prefer the solid land. Caim, dear, have you any idea what it’s like? I have recieved some rather conflicting accounts about long treks aboard fantastic sea vessels from port to port.” He kept it short, although he had more to say. Dhaunmyr could always find something to say, it was a minor talent, but it more often ended up with him in a worse situation than a better one.
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Post by moralhazard on Apr 20, 2019 16:35:48 GMT
Kara set the small fruit down on the table, carefully balancing it so the parts she’d eaten wouldn’t tip over and touch the surface. She pulled her hands back to her lap. This question deserved her full attention; she wouldn’t spoil it by thinking of how delicious and sweet the fruit was.
Kara looked at Dhaunmyr, then at Caim.
“Helm is the Watcher,” Kara gave the word a certain emphasis. She was quiet, thinking for a long moment. What to say of Helm?
“He stands for humility,” Kara said quietly, “for planning and strength. For protection, most of all, of any who need it. Some think of him as cold, but it’s not coldness. It is duty - Helm is always prepared for his duty and always does his duty - what is right - no matter how painful.”
Kara ended with that. When speaking of Helm, no matter how unintentionally revealing, there was an ease to her that neither had ever seen before. This was clearly an area where Kara felt comfortable. She knew Helm, and faith was personal but she had years of practice, and nothing had changed. Helm was the same Helm of her childhood. Kara had changed but he had not and she was grateful for that, for the knowledge of his unflinching strength in this world.
Kara turned to Caim, looking at him. “I’ve been on boats,” she volunteered, perhaps regretting her earlier unhelpfulness. She paused, then even added a few more words. “Small ones.”
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Post by orby on Apr 22, 2019 2:49:56 GMT
The "her"? Caim's eyebrows knitted together perplexedly, but he saved from stressing over whether he should know what that meant by Dhaunmyr redirecting back at him. Y'know, as much as that could be considered being "saved".
"No," he said tentatively. "I've never been on a boat before either..."
Something about the way Dhaunmyr spoke to him was gradually becoming more unsettling. Caim couldn't quite put a finger on what it was that left him so discomforted. Maybe it was just the growing sense that the elf didn't like him, some stiffness in the smile or some edge in the voice reminding him of that abrupt sharp scolding. The pleasantness felt tenuous, like it wouldn't take more than a little slip-up to make it vanish again.
Or maybe it was just being called "dear" all the time. That was familiar, if not necessarily in a pleasant way.
Kara's sudden input on the subject caught him by surprise -- he rather expected at this point for her to continue leaving him to fend off Dhaunmyr alone -- and for a moment Caim just blinked at her. But then his expression softened a bit, quietly grateful not to be left entirely on his own.
"I can't imagine it's that much different than riding in a cart," he said, the corner of his lip quirking just slightly upward. How bad could it be? The cart had left him a little stiff from sitting for so long, but it was better than walking such a distance.
Maybe it was just speaking about her god that had relaxed Kara enough to speak more. She certainly seemed a bit more at ease, saying more on that one subject than he'd heard her say about anything else. Caim's hand slipped just for a moment towards the pendant he wore, Lathander's symbol of a road disappearing into a sunrise, but caught himself and shifted the movement instead back towards his last bit of bread. "I've read about Helm before," he said, pausing to finish that last bite. "Are you very...devout?"
She made it sound nice, at least. Good and righteous and easy to believe in.
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Post by enchilada on Apr 22, 2019 11:50:27 GMT
“Ah! The cart ride. I don’t remember much of mine, of course my friends had the cart for the longer trip, I walked here, as they were waiting for a certain payment to make its way back to them, but between the towns and villages I spent a little time in the back. Perhaps a boat would have less sharp bumps, and furthermore, more soft ones? Not only is it a larger vessel, but I feel the waves of the sea are larger than a small rock that nearly tips the whole carton of oil onto your delightfully newly pressed outfit! Fun story; it missed me by just a pinch.”
Helm sounded a touch dull. Although, of course, he may have had some fun stories that made him a god. All the drow gods had stories where they were in some way condemned, then they rose again, but in a slightly different way, wherein they hadn’t really grown as people but simply had become far harsher than any god in any pantheon at all. He’d be interested to hear Kara speak of him more, he definitely noticed a slight increase in her amount of words granted to the subject.
“I’m sorry if this is an obvious question, but are the gods up here widely taught? Is the information fairly free and unguarded? My apologies if it seems a rather ridiculous thing to need to ask, but I have seemed to notice a lack of... singularity in worship.” It wasn’t obvious to Dhaunmyr. He imagined evil gods, like, you know, that one, were banned in some respects, but perhaps there were two or three that were regarded as okay to follow, and the rest chucked away and forgotten about, even shunned. He hadn’t quite gotten his head around all the symbols either, so he wasn’t sure what was simply decorative and what was religious here.
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Post by moralhazard on Apr 22, 2019 15:44:05 GMT
Kara tried, mentally, to compare carts and boats. Riding in carts was very nice compared to walking on the dusty road, and she couldn’t really relate to Dhaunmyr’s bump related complaints, having never spent more than a few hours in a cart at once. She supposed it might get old eventually.
“Boats,” Kara lifted one hand and made a little rocking from side to side sort of motion. She paused, thinking hard about other important information that Dhaunmyr and Caim might need. “Some people get nauseous,” she added. That was true even on the river.
Both Dhaunmyr and Caim seemed to want to discuss Helm - or the gods more broadly - a little more.
Kara looked at Caim when he asked if she were devout, then back down at herself, the small callused hands in her lap, now slightly sticky with fruit juice. It was hard not to lick it off her fingers, but she wouldn’t. She thought of the Hall of Vigilance, of the plate-armored paladins with their dusty swords, of the priests in their robes. She thought of her mother, the way she looked when she thought of Helm, her face rapt with worship.
“No,” Kara said, softly. She paused, feeling it unfairly short, and added, for once. “I don’t think so.”
Dhaunmyr asked if the gods were widely taught, or if one could learn about any of them. Kara nodded. “If there is a temple,” she said. She rubbed her hands together, picking up the apricot again and nibbling at it, a little sad that she had already nearly finished it.
Then, slowly - “In Sundabar many worship -“ Kara went still and silent and her voice went small; she was too honest not to correct herself, “many worshipped Helm. Others Tyr or Torm.” She might have said more, might have said something about how many temples Waterdeep had, but the weight of the correction was too heavy, spoiling even the sweet pleasure of the fruit. She set it down again.
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Post by orby on Apr 23, 2019 10:47:45 GMT
Kara seemed less enthused when he asked more, though. It piqued his curiosity, but her thoughtful expression made him hold his tongue. It seemed...personal. Perhaps pushing it wouldn't be the kindest action. Caim frowned pensively but turned his attention instead to Dhaunmyr's question.
Things had certainly seemed more singular back before he'd come here, when the entirety of his world was focused on a single deity. Amphail had no other decently sized temples nearby, as far as he knew, and most of its small population and those from the surrounding farmland were followers. But other gods were still spoken of in the lore told during services and in everyday life; tales of Helm's anger towards Lathander, mention of prayers to Chauntea during the planting season by farmers that frequented the temple. Books alone made it clear enough that those other gods were all equally significant to the rest of the world and that what he'd been raised on was just one part of a large pantheon. It was all pretty interesting, when he was considering it from a less personally involved perspective.
Caim just shrugged. "I don't really know what's taught around here, but there are plenty of gods. I've never heard of any that weren't open to anyone, and I've seen temples to a number of deities all around the city..."
There was one temple in particular in the Castle Ward that he gave a wide berth. The Spires of the Morning was large and striking, especially in the daylight when the sun's rays struck the metallic caps of the spires themselves. It was a shining beacon even among the lavish manors that made up much of that area. Even just at a glance in the early mornings when most services were held, it seemed to have a sizable congregation among the city's people.
Just thinking of it left Caim feeling vaguely ill. He held back a grimace and pushed the thought from his head.
"And if there is any information that's closely guarded, how would we even know?" He took an apple, a nail digging into the skin of it idly as he thought on it. "If it's kept secret, then I imagine even those who know wouldn't share it with just anyone who asked."
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Post by enchilada on Apr 23, 2019 11:17:14 GMT
Dhaunmyr nodded, listening closely to both explanations. Each was interesting.
“Unfortunately, I have little idea who any of these gods are you’ve named, Kara. Perhaps I should do a little reading around the subject of religion. Any ideas on a good place to begin? It just becomes so complicated when you move away from the singular.” He sighed. Even if the demon queen of spiders was a rather horrible one to follow, it did make things simple. There were other gods, but they didn’t really matter so much. And some you weren’t even supposed to know about, in case their offer of not being nearly killed every five minutes was good enough to drag you away from the clutches of the queen.
“I suppose said information would be hard to get, but more rather I refer to things that the lawmakers would rather you not know. I’m certain that if I began to talk of, oh, you know, then I’d at the very least be investigated. In hushed whispers, or boogeyman stories, I’m sure there are other gods and multiple cults you’re ‘not supposed to know about’. I was rather wondering if the people involved up high tried to keep everyone on a single path by attempting to subdue others speech on the matter of different gods. Free to choose, but without any choice, so to speak, you must choose the one or the nothing. I see from Kara that it is not the case.”
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Post by moralhazard on Apr 23, 2019 21:42:21 GMT
If Caim or Dhaunmyr noticed her slip, they didn’t ask. Kara felt a heady rush of gratitude, warring with the abrupt dampening of her spirits. Now that she’d had some food, perversely, she felt more tired, not less, although increasingly less feverish. She looked at the food again, then cautiously up at Dhaunmyr and Caim. Dhaunmyr was still pinching bits off the child-size slice of bread he’d taken, and Caim had switched to fruit. Could she eat another piece of bread? Kara weighted the desire for one against the feeling in her stomach. She wasn’t exactly hungry. If she’d been out and about, she wouldn’t have sought out food. Could she still eat? This was where things always got tricky, the line between the absence of hunger and a feeling of fullness. Her brain told her yes, yes, yes; her stomach was protesting, but only softly. Slowly, Kara decided on a compromise; she took a piece of the bread, but no butter, even though it had been rich and soft and utterly delicious. Carefully, she nibbled on the bread, deciding that she would eat this slice of bread, it would be her last, and she would eat it very slowly. If it was too much, no matter how delicious it was, she would stop; it would be very unfortunate if she threw up the meal that Dhaunmyr had gotten her. Kara didn’t want that. Caim and Dhaunmyr were talking more freely now, Kara noticed. Dhaunmyr asked about where to read about the gods, and Kara’s gaze flicked towards Caim as she nibbled on her bread. He had had a book; she thought he probably liked to read. Kara could read, of course. She wasn’t sure when she had last, other than signs and notices. Well, she had looked up the rules of Waterdeep, and she had read them, especially those regarding how weapons had to be covered in the city. Those had been very useful, very good reading. Reading about the gods? Kara didn’t know if she had ever done any of that. Kara nodded slightly at Dhaunmyr’s summary of what she had said. It was not the one or the nothing. It was hard for her even to imagine such a world; of course they had had fights with other children over worship, of course such differences were known and noted, but… for everyone to worship the same god? She couldn’t imagine it. People were so different; they needed different gods as well. She shared none of these thoughts with Dhaunmyr and Caim, instead occupying herself with slow, careful bites of the bread; it would be her last slice, so she had to savor every crumb even more than usual.
((Word count: 14,368))
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Post by orby on Apr 24, 2019 10:13:30 GMT
There was a moment where Caim almost ran with his curiosity to ask about everything being left unspoken. The apparently monotheistic religion of the dark elves, the authority that enforced it, cults and deities that weren't supposed to be spoken of. Thinking better of it, however, he held his tongue. Somehow, he got the feeling it was best not to ask about worship in the Underdark. Even ignoring what scant details he could recall having read about in one book or another, Dhaunmyr had implied plenty just in the last ten minutes. Curiosity didn't justify bringing slavery and sacrifices back up -- especially after the way Kara had reacted to the subject before.
Unfortunately, that left Caim at a loss for words. The point was made and Kara was quiet again and he shouldn't pursue this topic. Changing the subject also felt like something that might get him snapped at again; maybe he was worse at socializing than he thought, or maybe dealing with the elf just came with its own set of unspoken rules. Either way, it put him even more on edge than normal, second-guessing every thought before it could leave his mouth.
Failing to come up with anything that seemed worth saying, Caim settled for a vague hum of agreement while he busied himself with his fruit. He caught the tip of a claw under the skin of the apple, peeling it away in long stripes before biting into the white flesh of it. The burst of its juices in his mouth was sweet, far sweeter than this whole attempted interaction had been thus far despite his best efforts. The thought was more than a little demoralizing.
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Post by enchilada on Apr 24, 2019 15:55:57 GMT
“I’ll see you around Kara.”
For someone so concerned with his social standing, it was pretty strange for Dhaunmyr to just up and leave upstairs without really explaining himself at all. One minute he was there, and then he was gone. A cryptid.
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